Friday, May 11, 2012

Thoughts 6 Weeks and Two Days Away

I have been super emotional the last couple of weeks, seems anything can make me cry.  The thing I am most 'hormonal' about at the moment is picturing kissing the boys bye, leaving to go to the hospital to have baby girl. Not that I am not excited about this new addition and I can rationalize how the love will be abundant...but I am emotional none the less.  For almost three and half years life has been me and my boys.  Traveling and navigating this road together.  And I am little sad, if I am being honest, that this trip is coming to an end.  I find myself wanting to squeeze them more, tell them how much I love them more, spend every second with them, and just give them a cookie whenever they want one!!!  I keep going back to the same book before nap time, and every time I read it to them I cry.  And they will say, "happy tears momma?"  And I say "yes, happy tears baby."  Today they both laid their little heads on my big tummy and listened to the I cried.
Wherever You Are
by Nancy Tillman

I wanted you more
than you ever will know, 
so I sent love to follow
wherever you go. 

It's high as you wish it.  It's quick as an elf. 
You'll never outgrow stretches itself!

So climb any mountain...
climb up to the sky!
My love will find you. 
My love can fly!

Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!
My love will find you.  My love can swim!

It never gets lost, never fades, never ends...
if you're working...
or playing...
or sitting with friends. 

You can dance 'til you're dizzy...
paint 'til your blue...
There's no place, not one,
that my love can't find you. 

And if someday you're lonely,
or someday you're sad,
or you strike out a baseball,
or think you've been bad...
just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair. 
That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there. 

In the green of the the smell of
the the clouds floating by...
at the top of a the sound
crickets make at the end of the day...

"You are loved. You are loved. You are
loved," they all say. 

My love is so high, and so wide and
so deep, it's always right there, even
when you're asleep.  

So hold your head high
and don't be afraid
to march to the front
of your own parade. 

If you're still my small babe
or you're all the way grown,
my promise to you
is you're never alone.  

You are my angel, my darling,
my star...and my love will find you,
wherever you are. 

You are loved.  


CJ said...

So sweet!!!

Laura said...

You are evil! Just kidding but seriously I am sitting here with 13 snotty tissues and stilll sobbing! Will and I just watched Contraband which was the most stressful movie of my life so I was checking on your blog for a happy night cap. Well, now I think I'm gonna have to have a drink! Any time you need to chat about this call me and you know I know that all of these are very valid emotions you are having. Remember about me gasping for air I was crying so hard as we pulled away from the house knowing it would not just be T and I anymore??? You know I would not trade my baby girl for any thing in the world BUT there are still days when T and I are alone that I cry just remembering those days of it just being us. In fact just on Saturday I was sobbing while reading to T just because I so cherish our alone time together. I love you, I'm praying for your strength and I'm hoping you cherish every single one of these last 6ish weeks with those boys because life is gonna change! ;) On a happy note know that the bond that you and I have with our boys is something that Aaron is about to experience with Baby Girl and it is absolutely amazing to watch. When I see Will and Emmaline together I know that he looks at her just like we look at T, P & K! Love you girl!

Cecilia said...

Awww! That made me emotional and I'm not even pregnant! I think your boys will handle the upcoming changes perfectly.

I found out about Susan on Facebook. Her boys are doing great. She's got a blog and I'll put in on my blog list so you can check in on her.